Potsie
Place of Birth: Fart, VA
Age: 156
Occupation: Environmental Impact Consultant – BP Oil; Enron Accounting Executive – Retired; Exxon oil freight ship captain (Valdez) – Retired
What He Drives on the Street: Mazda Miata
His Dream Car: Reliant Robin
Fastest Short Track Lap: 9.72 Fastest Long Track Lap: 13.54
Career: Fastest Short Track Lap at IROK 2010
Drivers Prepare for 2011 Season (Part 7 – Potsie)
As the newest member to the driver family at Shake n Bake Speedway, Potsie is still getting settled into his new found fame and fortune. Let’s see how he’s adjusting.
Editor: “You became a Shake n Bake driver mid-way through the 2010 season. What are your thoughts?”
Potsie: “Well, I wasn’t expecting the amount of fame and the excessive fortune that has come from it.”
Editor: “What has been the most surprising?”
Potsie: “The fame. I spend most of my time in court, filing charges and restraining orders against my many stalkers.”
Editor: “You have been stalked?”
Potsie: “I still am. They follow me everywhere hounding me for my signature.”
Editor: “You mean your fans.”
Potsie: “My what?”
Editor: “Fans. It sounds like some random fans asking for your autograph.”
Potsie: “Ohhhh, is that what they’re doing? I guess that’s ok. Remind me to call my lawyer when we’re done.”
Editor: “Ok. Let’s talk about the fortune side of being a Shake n Bake driver. What have you bought with just your half-season’s worth of winnings?”
Potsie: “Let’s see….I had a toilet installed in every room of every house I own, which is now five.”
Editor: “Wow, five houses. That seems excessive; why so many?”
Potsie: “I bought four because of who the previous owners were and I kept the one I lived in before being a Shake n Bake driver.”
Editor: “Interesting. Tell me about them.”
Potsie: “I now own the homes of Nicole Kidman, Eric Estrada, Whitney Houston and Fabio.”
Editor: “Why?”
Potsie: “ I am a big fan of each of them. I really like the thought of being a landlord.”
Editor: “They still live in the houses?”
Potsie: “Yep. That was part of the deal I made with them. They can stay in their houses until they get some infomercial work or are accepted to be on one of the celebrity re-hab shows.”
Editor: “What have you been doing to get ready for your first full season of racing?”
Potsie: “Well, I was swimming with Rockgut until there was an unfortunate incident.”
Editor: “Swimming in his pool of Budweiser, I assume. What happened?”
Potsie: “I peed.”
Editor: “You peed in his pool of beer?! How were you caught?”
Potsie: “He takes drinks as he swims. I guess he could taste it in the 50,000 gallons of beer. He has a very refined palate.”
Editor: “I would have never thought the word ‘refined’ would ever be used when referring to Rockgut. So what is your training regimen now?”
Potsie: “Speed-walking.”
Editor: “Anything else?”
Potsie: “Like most Shake n Bake drivers, I keep a constant supply of alcohol running through my liver and kidneys.”
Despite my best efforts, Potsie didn’t want to talk about his leg injury he incurred over the off-season. He was practicing Parkour after a local professional football team home game and broke his leg.
